Archive for July, 2009

Yet again I woke up this morning after another round of nightmares. This time I dreamed my lover was terminally ill, I woke up sad. I think it must be the heat that is causing me to have such vivid dreams this week, or maybe there are things going on in the universe that are resonating in my psyche. It is supposed to be a high of 108 today in Portland, it just shouldn’t get that hot in Portland.

Today will either be spent in a kiddie pool or at a river, trying not to die. Hot weather may give me bad dreams, but it also makes me especially horny. I love the feeling of being light-headed after fucking in a hot room.

It is so hot right now. I removed the air conditioning unit from my home in the winter and decided to do without this year (after all the PNW stays cool most of the year) and egads I’m dying. Soon I will make my way out to the inflatable pool I set up in my garden. Before I die. I’m melting.

Here’s a sexy photo from one of my recent updates. In this photo I am not melting, just hot. gold61

I had such wonderful dreams this morning, the kind that you wake up from and then fall back asleep and re-enter. I dreamed that I was in a shopping mall with a friend and we were for some reason in a jewlery store, when a beautiful dark haired woman proceeded to instruct me on helping her steal diamonds. I distracted the sales clerk, she cut a hole in the glass case and stole all the jewlery. In the confusion of alarms she handed me the bag of loot and told me to meet up with her elsewhere, and I smoothly left the building. Once I got outside I was greeted by many friends that I’ve missed lately, only I couldn’t find my car to make a get – a- way. So I had to go back in the mall. Fortunately I met up with my dark-haired thief companion, and though we didn’t have a car we still managed to get away.

I’m not sure why exactly this constitutes a good dream for me, yet I enjoyed it tremendously. I’m sure many people would be stressed out by such things, yet I felt a sense of peace and happiness in my dream. Maybe I need a little more excitement in my life.

I love 3-ways. Especially ones where I role-play a sex crazed girl scout  selling strap on fun. I had a great time filming this scene with Karly and Gabriel.  One of the cool things about this scene, is everyone gets fucked, and everyone fucks

I fuck Karly, Karly fucks Gabriel with a strap on, I fuck Karly while she fucks Gabriel. Karly sucks my cock while Garbriel fucks her. Karly fucks me in the ass while I drink Gabriels cum. My point is that we all switch, and I really enjoy switching it up. 🙂

.  Another highlight for me was finger fucking Karly while Gabriel was sliding his cock in and out of her, which felt incredible. I have never felt like I was giving 2 people handjobs at once with the same hand, and I love doing new things.

I’m listening to an old Mountain Goats album and contemplating breakfast. I had unsettling dreams this morning, and woke up in a strange mood.

It is yet another hot day. I think I am going to go to a waterfall to cool off.

Hello everyone,

I am happy to announce that my new solo site is now open for business, I plan on doing some really cool stuff with this site that I just couldn’t do with my old one.  I hope you like it, I think it is going to be awesome.

Today I spent some time posting announcements on different message boards letting people know about my new site, and then hung out with my friends by a 3×12 inflatable pool that I bought yesterday. Its not really deep enough to swim in, but it is nice to cool off in, and I can watch juvenile bald eagles learn to hunt lounging in a couple feet of water. I also ate a ton of good food today, and I’m doing something I rarely do which is put a little bit of meat on my bones. Having pretty much quit smoking I finally have an appetite, and it is making me very happy.

I’m sleepy so I’m going to bed, just drank Chamomile tea. I will probably have much more to say tomorrow.


I took this photo years ago when I was travelling from Philadelphia to New Orleans via unconventional methods. It was a boarded up house that had been destroyed in a hurricane the year before Katrina, and for some reason the tag resonated with me. There was this house that had been completely destroyed, amongst hundreds of homes that had been evacuated and were trashed, and yet someone had taken the time to talk about beauty amonst the wreckage. That photo has hung in my different homes ever since then, and often serves as a metaphor in my life. Every once in a while it is nice to be reminded that no matter what the rest of the world may think, no matter how battered I may be,  I’m still  beautiful.You are too.

That’s all. Just thought I’d share. Have a nice day.

Yet another reason why I can’t wait for to launch this week is my newest scene with teen-goth Kasha Bella. Kasha and I first played together a couple of months ago in a scene that originally aired on my old site We had a great time playing the first time, and decided that it would be cool to try something with a harder BDSM element since we both shared similar interests.

Lo and behold I got a call from Kasha asking if I would like to film another scene with her in the Portland area, and I arranged for us to shoot for a night at the Twisted Cedar Estates, a bed and bondage that is run by some friends of mine outside of Portland.

I don’t want to give too much away, but I will say that the scene is artfully shot and the action is hot. Humiliation, punishment, hardcore fucking, bondage, a fun roleplay, canes, paddles, spanking, hot wax, this scene has alot

I think there is a real lack of Lesbian Femdom porn in the TS world, as most TS domination scenes involve TS dominating guys. I happen to love dominating (and of course switching it up and getting dominated by) women, and in this scene I thoroughly enjoy myself.

Kasha also appears in the new Eon McKai film “Art School Girls Are Easy” the sequel to the highly acclaimed Art School Sluts.

Here are some stills from the scene, which should be up when the site launches later this week.

I could cave in and get a twitter account, but I won’t. At least not this week, I have a blog dammit.

Today I feel much better than yesterday, I’m eating: soup, mash potatoes, a grilled cheese sandwich, mmm…I love food. Taking lots of pain pills and watching tons of movies, Jackie Brown earlier (Pam Greer is such a fox, I’m in love) and tonight will be season 2 of Secret Diary of  a Call Girl. I’m entering day 3 of not smoking, which would normally mean I would be a raging bitch, but I’m very mellow due to the painkillers and surgery, so I have no complaints.

Wonder what I’m listening to while typing this confusing mess?  Here is my Itunes playlist:
Nobody Knows You When Your Down And Out :   Sam Cooke
Roots : Devendra Banhart
Before Believing:  Emmylou Harris
Campus:    Vampire Weekend
Babe, You Turn Me On : Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds  PM
Bunny Ain’t No Kind Of Rider :   Of Montreal

hi on painkillers and happy

hi on painkillers and happy

As far as I can tell my operation was a success, bon voyage adams apple of mine. May you find my testicles in tranny part castaway heaven, or hell for that matter. Right now I’m high on percocet, trying to get some food in my body, icing my throat and watching South Park Season 12 and Reno 911 Season 6 on DVD. Sarah is taking really good care of me, I’m so lucky to have such a loving and tender girlfriend.

My Dr. was a total sweetie, and I think my anastheisilogist might of known who I was, he asked if he should call me Mandy, that was weird. Anyways, soon I will have photos of me with a slight improvement. Hurray for modern medicine.